“Well, hold on a second guys,” Ron said, draining his water. “Maybe there’s an opportunity here to turn the situation around. If Tom and Harry are right, we can use this guy to nail Bloggo Globo’s ass to the wall.”

“Howzat?” slurred Bill.

Ron leaned into the speakerphone. “Okay, what if someone passed Lance ‘information’, air quotes, okay?, on some ‘supposed’ environmental disaster at, let’s say, our Pittsburgh plant. Think about it. We’ve just upgraded that plant and Lance doesn’t know any of the guys there. Bloggo Globo runs with the story like the amateurs they are and we slap their asses with a libel suit in a ground-breaking case, you know? Taking on the blogiverse. We can tie those guys up for years and also use it as a big time opportunity to talk up our clean record. Think of the coverage, Bill.”

There was a long pause punctuated by occasional undefinable sounds from the speakerphone. It sounded like ... well, it was hard to say exactly, and Harry, Tom and Ron puzzled.

Bill said, “I shure would like to nail those sons of ... hee hee hee ... don’t, don’t breath in my ear now, honey. You’re beauteeful. Go away.” Peels of feminine laughter suddenly filled the room.

Tom pursed his lips disapprovingly while Harry and Ron exchanged sly schoolboy smiles. Ron got up to refill his cup saying, “I know you would, Bill. Here’s our opportunity.”

“Whadda yoush think, Hom, Tarry?”

“It’s got potential,” Harry said.

“Hmmm. I don’t know,” Tom said.

“Right. I’m gonna make a dechision here. Letch do it and can this guy Lansheh’s ass immediachly after. Gotta let people know who’s boss ... hic ... You, Tom and Harry shet it up, but bring Shuzie into it. Nice girl Shuzie ... very professional. She’ll know how to handle the Pub... hic ... Political Relations.”

Harry didn’t miss a beat. “What about Horace, Bill?” he said. “I mean druggin’ them schmucks at the focus group tests was his idea.”

“Yeah, shlap hizz assh too.”

Harry smiled sadistically. That would teach Horace for not copying him in on memos. “No problem, Bill. Tom’ll take care of it, right, Tom?”

Tom nodded officiously. That would teach Horace for not copying him in on memos.

“Hey, guyz, looks like Horache izz going to be shinging for his shoup!”

“Ha ha ha,” laughed Harry.

“Ha ha ha,” laughed Tom.

“Ha ha ha,” laughed Ron, adding, “Bill, I just want to say that I never would have advised drugs ... I mean, I’m really glad we’re here to help contain the fallout, you know?”

“Hey Ron, I like your idears. Maybe you should be rhunning Shuzie’s depar ... deparsh ... job, huh?”

Ron glowed. “Thanks, Bill. Happy to help the team any way I can.”

“Hee hee hee,” chuckled Bill. “Good work guyz. I want reggalarupdates ... hic ... Bye.”

“Wait,” Ron said. “How do you want to handle the suiciders Bill? ... Bill?”

“We’ll handle that the usual way, Ron,” Harry said smoothly. “Say twenty g’s up to a max of fifty a piece with lots of shut-up clauses. Bill doesn’t have to be bothered with that.” Harry leaned forward, planting his elbows heavily onto his desk. “Okay guys, let’s put Ron’s idea to work,” he said with a devious glint in his eye.