Transcript of Recorded Telephone Conversation

Thursday October 27 2:04 PM - 2:06 PM

Fred: Yeah, hi, boss. What’s up?

Joe: We missed somethin’.

Fred: Oh yeah? What we miss?

Joe: You schmuck. Why ain’t you monitorin’ the Chief’s office?

Fred: Which Chief you talkin’ ‘bout?

Joe: Whaddaya mean, ‘which Chief’? Bill.

Fred: Oh yeah, the guy with the tent. I gotta go in there tonight and put a couple new bugs in.

Joe: Tent?

Fred: Yeah. He redecorated, boss, real classy; tasteful and historical like, but I can’t see in his windows no more on account a the tent.

Joe: He put in a tent? What, like a campin’ tent?

Fred: Yeah. They bulldozed his office and put in a tent. It’s a real beauty, from the outside anyways. There’s a pattern on it, kinda like paisley. You like paisley, boss?

Joe: Listen you moron. I dunno know what you’re on about. Alls I know is that the big boss is pissed, capiche? We missed a big meetin’ there.

Fred: Listen, boss, I wasn’t expectin’ a actual bulldozer to tear out his office and my bugs with it. I mean, them kinda things don’t happen too often, y’know? But don’t worry ‘bout it. I’m goin’ in there tonight t’cover it.

Joe: You better.

Fred: Yeah, no sweat.

Joe: Okay. Hey, you wanna couple o’slices?

Fred: I don’t think so, boss. They don’t use real cheese in slices no more. It’s some sorta fake cheese or somethin’. Anyways, I gotta detox. Just a mineral water and maybe some cranberries for now. Good for the kidney’s, y’know?

Joe: What are you, nuts? Raw cranberries? How ‘bout a tin a jelly?

Fred: Nah, there’s sugar in the jelly, boss, and I think I’m hypoglycemic. I got all the symptoms.

Joe: Sure you don’t wanna nice meatball hero or somethin’ sustainin’ like that? It’s a long day, y’know?

Fred: Y’know boss, I don’t think so. I gotta watch my weight. Obesity’s a killer. Hey boss, can we have a bicycle in here or somethin’?

Joe: A bicycle?

Fred: Yeah, y’know, one o’them exercise bikes.

Joe: Fred, you been listenin’ in on them yuppies too much. You ain’t obese you crazy ape. You’re solid muscle and you don’t need to detox neither. Now you want some real food or should I send over a lettuce and a couple a carrots?

Fred: Boss, you never treat me serious.

Joe: That’s cuz you’re a moron. Look, I gotta go. I’ll bring ya over a meatball hero and some cranberries and you can decide just how bad you wanna detox. Later.

Fred: How I’m supposed to get into shape when you tempt me like that ... it ain’t fair. I have needs too, y’know. I’m a human bein’. Boss? ... boss?